A League of Morons

Apr 17
lights. colors.

lights. colors.

Apr 12

A Haiku

by Festival Khaleesi

'chella approaches

beautiful feathered tyrants

prepare for battle

"the original tyrant"

Apr 11
Gird your loins.

Gird your loins.

Apr 11

quote Holds barred: Flying Molly. Other restrictions: n/a.

— Pakusa
Apr 11
Off to California we go!

Off to California we go!

Mar 30

Excerpts from a League E-mail Chain entitled “I think I’m gonna die.”

Moron 1: I m home and safe. I think my lifestyle is untenable. Also that,

Moron 2: Nola cochon gator strippers bywater turtle soup ballers coaches sazerac

Moron 3: I’m glad we’re gradually increasing the weird before April. This is like the League version of a training montage.

Moron 2: Slo-mo breaux hug in the surf

Moron 1: dagoba system shit

Moron 2: WHERE IS [MORON 4]??????????????????V

Moron 2: Correction: sleaux-meaux breaux

Moron 4: Turn around. Pakusa on your 6.

Mar 23

"Future Crimes"

Songs to be heard at Coachella apropos of what will happen at Coachella

by Festival Khaleesi

-DAY 1-

"Get Lit" (ASAP Rocky)
"Vomit" (Girls)
“Headache” (Girls)

-DAY 2-

"Morning Bell" (Radiohead)
"Feelin’ So Hood" (Araabmuzik)
"Hysterical Strength" (St. Vincent)
"Laughing With A Mouth of Blood" (Ibid.)
“Wildfire” (SBTRKT)
"The Apocalypse Song" (St. Vincent)

-DAY 3-

"Seriously, It’s Over" (Neon Indian)

"Nothing Scarier than y'all touching down in the southland on Friday the 13th.  LA riots, redux."

Apr 26

L ’ Existentialisme est un humanisme.

Apr 13

Goddamn, Pusherman


When Curtis Mayfield set out to score the 1972 film “Super Fly,” he saw an opportunity for engagement, not just with the film’s story, but with its underlying themes: the violent rise of drugs in the inner city, namely, Harlem.

Thankfully, “Super Fly” the film was quickly forgotten: a campy relic of the blaxploitation era of seventies filmmaking. Superfly the soundtrack, however, endures as a powerful piece of social commentary. The album’s second track, “Pusherman,” introduces a new character to popular music: the audacious, entrepreneurial drug pusher, who exhorts “Feed me money for style/
And I’ll let you trip for a while.”

Hailing from Virginia Beach, VA (by way of the Bronx), brothers Terrence and Gene Thornton (Pusha T and Malice, respectively) perform on the razor’s edge of a subgenre known as “cocaine rap.” If Curtis Mayfield presided over the marriage of drug dealing and popular music, the Thornton brothers, collectively known as Clipse, have overseen its consummation: their first major single and street anthem, 2002’s “Grindin,” tellingly begins with the stark, familiar reminder, “I’m yo pusha.”

It’s not that the irony of Mayfield’s “Pusherman” was lost on the Thorntons. Like Mayfield, the duo focuses a great deal on the bleakness and desperation surrounding the drug game. But in a world where every platinum-certified MC from Jay-Z (a self-proclaimed former crack dealer) to Rick Ross (an admitted former correctional officer) boasts incessantly about drug trafficking bona fides, Clipse offers a singularly gloomy, yet exacting glimpse of life on the street. As the brothers rap on their 2006 single “Wamp Wamp (What it Do),” “Mildew-ish, I heat it, it turns glue-ish/ It cools to a tight wad; the Pyrex is Jewish.”

To hear Clipse tell it, drug trafficking is more disciplined vocation than lavish lifestyle; their brash, often rancorous lyrics have a way of delegitimizing more mainstream artists’ forays into coke rap: “I ain’t coming at ya/ quote, unquote famous rapper/ Who turn positive/ tryin’ to tell ya how to live.”

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Apr 12


Feb 11

Cheap Eats: C’ville’s Ten Best Dishes Under $10

And so ends Restaurant Week, the twice annual occasion when otherwise great Charlottesville standbys cut corners and costs to deliver uninspired prix fixe menus to the masses at $26 a pop. Restaurant Week almost invariably means lower quality ingredients, large crowds, and lousy service. Throw in the extra cost of wine, beer, or cocktails, and $26 really isn’t much of a deal.

This is especially true of the Charlottesville dining scene, where cheap, delicious food is easily had. Here, in no particular order or category, are a few of VLW’s favorite cheap eats: a short order short list for the starving, debt-ridden foodies among us.

Shanghai Soup Dumplings ($8)
Taste of China
612 Albemarle Square Court (Off Route 29)
(434) 975-6688

Local food blog Mas to Millers once called Peter Chang’s brief tenure as C’ville’s favorite Chinese chef and cult figure a “roller coaster.” Now that there are rumors of a return, it’s starting to feel more like a full-blown saga. Meanwhile, his former restaurant, Taste of China, continues to turn out dazzlingly authentic Szechuan food. In fact, change has been a very good thing for Taste of China: most notably, in the form of these Shanghai-style dumplings. Filled with a rich, gingery broth and a blend of pork and crabmeat, each bite ends in an explosion of fatty goodness.

Polyface Chicken Salad Sandwich ($9)
416 West Main Street
(434) 244-7800

Sure, there are other sandwicheries in town (Padow’s, Bellair, Take-it-Away, etc.), but Feast! is a gastronomic experience unto itself. For one, you get that warm feeling of smugness from the locally-sourced ingredients (as designated by Virginia food maps which double as placemats). Better still, you can devote the entirety of your waiting time to lining your cheeks and pockets with free samples of gourmet cheese, olive oil, chutney, and butter – it’s not stealing when the butcher cheerfully hands you five samples of charcuterie; it’s called enabling. If you still have room, try the out-of-this-world chicken salad sandwich: shredded chicken from the mythical Polyface farm, aged gouda, crispy romaine, on a chewy cibatta roll.

Everything Bagel with Lox and Cream Cheese ($4.40)

Bodo’s Bagels
1418 Emmet Street
505 Preston Avenue
1609 University Avenue
(434) 293-5224

I suspect that most New Yorkers have no idea what an “Authentic New York Water Bagel” is. Maybe it’s the boiling, or maybe it’s that chewy, salty mouthfeel. Whatever the secret, the folks at Bodo’s understand that a good bagel is damn near impossible to find outside of the five boroughs. But a Bodo’s water bagel is the genuine article. Add some lox and a slathering of fluffy cream cheese, and it’s enough to make a former New Yorker a little less homesick.

Artisan Bacon ($4.50)
Blue Moon Diner
512 West Main Street
(434) 980-6666

This charming little diner has been racking up karma points for the last four years: they sponsor the local roller derby team; they host a womens’ arm wrestling tournament for charity; and their chefs create Willie Nelson and Christopher Walken-inspired pancakes. They also have the best damn bacon this reviewer has ever tasted. Although the sourcing varies by season, Blue Moon is currently serving up “Bayou Bacon” from Nodine’s Smokehouse in Connecticut: thick slabs of fatback coated with cayenne and Cajun spices, smoked spicy-sweet in hickory hardwood. Sublime.

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Feb 11
A Gentlemen’s Disagreement

A Gentlemen’s Disagreement

Feb 10
Feb 10

dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to the video.

Feb 03
"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God."
                                                    —Caligula Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus

"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God."

                                                    —Caligula Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus